Learning a Foreign Language

People talk about the chasm that separates the members of different generations. How can a college student relate to their parents or grandparents when they have grown up in such difference environments? We are foreigners. We speak different languages and come from different countries. Google translate does not provide generational translation. The solution cannot be found using technology. It must be worked out by human-to-human communication.

If we placed 8 people at a dining room table with four of them between the ages of 18 and 25, and the other four between 50 and 60 years old, how would the conversation flow? There are obviously limitless possibilities depending on the people, but I am going to guess at a few common outcomes for this social gathering.

The first conflict that can arise is who is controlling the topic? The older generation has been raised in a culture that equated age with wisdom and necessary deference. So, they might expect to control the conversation. The younger generation has been raised to value people equally, independent of age or experience. It will be a race to dominance or just whoever has the loudest voice.

The next problems for this dinner party, after they find their topic, are unintentionally, offensive comments. These landmines are plentiful on both slides of the generational divide. Let’s pretend for the sake of being “meta” that the conversation is about the generation divide. The older diners have generalized opinions about the younger generation’s work ethic, social conventions, and grit. The younger diners feel the burden of fixing the prejudice, male-dominating world of the recent past. A 52-year-old woman might say, “I never thought too much about my future. I just wanted to take care of my family.” The 23-year-old grad-student might say, “I suppose you think I am self-absorbed, since I’ve given no thought to my future family. I just want to get my degree.”

After both sides have been fed their portions of vexing dishes, the humanity in each trips them towards their final conflict: “Mediocrement!” This is defined as “being like a compliment, but not. It’s also not an insult.” An example of this would be a participation trophy. Our new world is full of these appeasements. I think they show our desire to make amends coupled with our inability to understand fully what is good and honorable about the other generation. At the dinner table, it might sound like this. The 58-year-old man says, “you kids made some good points today, when you get to be my age you’re going to be way ahead of where I am today.” The 20-year-old man could respond, “Thanks. I just think it’s hard for you to understand my perspective, but I appreciate that you tried to listen.” Due to the hidden sub-text, everyone goes home with a different script in their head about the conclusions reached at the dinner table.

The important conclusion of this communication crisis is described in the quote, “In seeking truth you have to get both sides of a story.” The truth here is that we need each other. The older people should enroll today in Gen Z 101, and the younger can take Gen X 101. We are not even that far apart in the alphabet.