Professor Ellen Knell’s BYU devotional explained what it takes to add more light to our lives over time.
When it comes to receiving a testimony of the gospel, most of us don’t see angels or have miraculous visions. Instead, our faith grows in small and simple ways that we hardly notice—until we look back and see how far we’ve come. In a devotional on July 2, 2024, Assistant Professor Ellen Knell (Director of the Center for Language Studies) shared some of her faith-building life experiences and how they allowed her to collect “rays” of light that she could later compile into a large pillar of testimony.
Knell based her speech around Elder Alexander Dushku’s April 2024 general conference talk titled “Pillars and Rays.” In it, he details the importance of incremental work toward a testimony, and how rays of light (small, spiritual experiences) are often more common than pillars of light (monumental experiences such as witnessing angels or Jesus Christ) when it comes to growing spiritually.
Knell explained that she first began to understand this concept while on her mission in Taiwan. While there, she struggled to learn the language and expressed that she had no idea “how much effort it would take to make the gift of tongues manifest.” However, when she became a senior companion, she had the opportunity to speak more and began to excel in her language skills. She said, “I felt God working through me despite my mistakes. [I began to believe that] consistent efforts to use Chinese would eventually pay off.” While in Taiwan, Knell took hold of small language victories in order to push through the darkness she felt in the beginning of her mission. By the end, she would become an advanced speaker and use her language skills often in the years to come. Knell later realized that this experience was a ray of light. Her testimony of God’s direct involvement in developing important skills grew, and this experience set a precedent for how her faith would grow the rest of her life: a little at a time.
Just hang onto the light and don't let go for anything.
Knell also saw small rays of light in her professional life. Before coming to BYU, Knell and her family lived in China for a few years. While there, she got rejected from a job that she desperately wanted, and she originally didn’t understand why she couldn’t have this great opportunity. However, she eventually realized that the rejection was actually a hidden ray of light that put her on the path to BYU, where she made her home in the Center for Language Studies. Knell expressed her love for her current job, especially because it gives her the opportunity to oversee the teaching of 60 uncommon languages. She said, “I think that I may have the best job on campus.” Through this experience, Knell’s testimony that God directs her and knows what’s best for her was strengthened.
At the end of her speech, Knell shared a story about how her daughter’s unexpected death as a young woman taught her how to more intentionally seek out light. During this difficult time, Knell received some advice that never left her. She said, “A friend of mine told me . . . to look for tender mercies from our Heavenly Father. He promised me that they would come if I opened myself up to receiving them. . . . I listened to him, and I opened up my broken heart.” As Knell intentionally searched for these tender mercies, she found peace in the midst of grieving and realized how involved in her life the Savior really was.
Knell now recognizes that the rays of light that she has collected throughout her life have created a glowing pillar. She concluded, “I know you are here at BYU to do some big learning but don’t forget about the small and simple things.” She urged BYU students to continue to intentionally gather rays of light and trust in God, even when things become more difficult than expected. She said, “Just hang onto the light and don’t let go for anything.”
To learn more about Knell’s work and the Center for Language Studies, click here.