Beyond Words: Navigating Language Barriers

Two years of Spanish in high school becomes irrelevant the moment she starts talking. Half of my family is fluent, and as they talk it gets faster and faster, making my embarrassingly small grasp on the language become almost nothing. I pick up a couple of words here and there, basic words like “agua” and “listo” that can’t really lead a conversation. It's not that we can't communicate at all, she’s fluent in English, it's just that she can get self conscious of how she stumbles on the occasional word. In a typical conversation she stays in Spanish or speaks through my brother.

So when people ask how I like my new sister-in-law it’s a strange answer. Though I haven't had many one-on-one conversations and have just started to actually meet her, I couldn’t think of anyone else I’d rather have as my first sister-in-law.

I can’t understand Spanish, but I can understand anxieties. Although I enjoy her accent, I understand how stressful it can be to have to talk in a nonnative language. I’ve felt my own little panic as her family stared expectantly at me to stumble out my little choppy Spanish sentences, terrified that I sounded stupid to them with my pitiful pronunciation and conjugation. I had gotten to the point where I could’ve had simple, scripted conversations in Spanish class but that all seems to disappear the moment I’m talking to what in my mind is a mercilessly judging crowd.

I can’t understand Spanish, but I do understand context clues. It’s entertaining in a way to try to discover what they’re talking about. I can understand the stories that we’ve told so many times through expressions and gestures. I can recognize teasing when someone becomes playfully defensive. Every conversation becomes a puzzle, and when I can even understand a sentence in Spanish it makes it all more exciting.

I can’t understand Spanish, but I do understand the love between my brother and her. The way he reaches for her in comfort when she’s stressed, and the tears that came to his eyes as they said their vows, there’s something so special for me to see my brother become someone better for her. It’s silly to say, but my own expectations have risen after seeing them together. The way they tease and cuddle and look for ways to help each other is something so sweet and consistent. I don’t know the words they say when they talk to each other, but I do know the emotion behind them.

I don’t understand Spanish, but I do understand service. I saw somewhere that a way to make someone like you better is to ask a simple favor, and in a strange way I see that in myself. For the wedding reception I was asked to do her hair. I was excited and flattered that she trusted me enough for such a special moment, touched that I would be tied forever in the memory of the ceremony with my little service. We didn’t talk much while I braided and pinned her hair, but I’d never felt so connected with my brand new sister-in-law then when I felt needed in that moment.

I’m still meeting my new sister and I’ll be seeing her so much more now, but I’m grateful for the little ways I got to know her already. We aren’t comfortable with each other’s languages, and so we've just had to learn other ways to communicate.

I think I’m going to learn Spanish.