Matt and Kerry Wickman share psychological and gospel principles to strengthen marriages.
During BYU’s 2023 Women’s Conference, Professor Matt Wickman (Literature and Spiritual Experience) and his wife, Kerry Wickman, a psychotherapist and social worker, discussed the role faith plays in marriage. The Wickmans approached their topic with an interdisciplinary mindset—merging religion, psychology, and their personal experience—to connect with their audience of all ages and from all walks of life.
Professor Wickman started by re-examining the word “belief” as it appears in Mark chapter 9. A father brings his son to be healed by Christ and cries out, “Lord I believe, help thou my unbelief” (Mark 9:24). The Greek word used for belief, pistis, means “faithfulness to” and “trust in” a person. Wickman said, “Faith, in the New Testament language, means not only a belief in God, but a trust in God and His promises,” including God’s promises about marriage.
The couple then discussed signs of emotional disengagement in marriage relationships—criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling—and addressed how couples can use empathy and compassion with their spouse to increase emotional engagement. The Wickmans shared how principles of “trust in” and “faithfulness to” God and spouse have worked in their marriage, especially in difficult times. For faithful, trust-filled couples, having foundational differences in culture, education, religion, upbringing, or past relationships can be sites of empowerment rather than sources of contention. Professor Wickman said, “Faith is not faith in an outcome. Faith is faith in Christ. Put your faith in Christ; build that relationship and let the Lord help you work out the outcomes.”
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For more about Professor Wickman’s work with faith and literature, click here.